I May Never Walk on Water

I may never walk on water,
but I'll never drown.
God may never part the oceans,
but I'll stand my ground
My faith in not in my beliefs
but in the One I've found.
His word is sure,
when I am not
His heart and mine are bound.

This short poem is from Beth Moore's book Further Still. It is so fitting for the past 2 days that I have been walking through. Thus the reason for such a long delay in posting anything.

Following the morning posts on Monday morning, I have felt as if Satan has been one step in front of me testing my mental, physical and spiritual strength. I have had the best help over the last few days, but we have hit some pitfalls.

Following Samantha Grace's lunch dosage of insulin on Monday, I gracefully knocked the new bottle of "special" insulin off the table and sent it crashing onto my tile floor. As the smell (not pleasant at all) began to permeate my kitchen, my mind began a marathon race of how I was going to get this filled again considering we just had it filled in Birmingham last Thursday.

I quickly called one of our local hospitals because we had been told that these hospitals would fill it; however, I was quickly denied because we were not a patient. Pacing like a lion about to be fed a huge juicy steak, I called Children's Hospital and requested a refill to be shipped overnight and offering to pay any amount to have it shipped. The words came back again...DENIED!

I was told that I basically needed to run an obstacle course in order to get a medication that my child needed by that night. The insurance company was making me basically walk a tight rope in order to find a pharmacy in our town instead of trying to be helpful in maybe giving me a list of possible pharmacies. Then I was told that the first day I could fill the medication would be Wednesday...

After finally finding a pharmacy to fill it (it basically took finding a needle in a haystack), I spoke with SG's nurses/doctors in B-ham to get their directions for the time being. They directed us to return to our old insulin until Thursday...thus brings us up to Tuesday.

Tuesday morning started pretty normal. Then came lunch!? SG's blood sugar spiked to 480 prior to lunch. We were able to finally, after 6 hours, get it down to 315. Then, I guess based on the high numbers, she refused to eat a full supper. Therefore, our bedtime reading was normal at 104. However, it only lasted two hours to be awoken at 10:30 to a reading of 356. After getting her calmed down and diaper changed (soaked to the bone bringing back not so good memories), I went to bed shortly there after knowing I needed to get back up in a couple of hours to re-test.

Unfortunately, she woke me before my alarm went off with a blood curdling scream. Bloodshot eyes I meander into the kitchen and zombie-like walk through the steps, wash hands, load needle, load test strips, prick, test...398! I couldn't believe my eyes. I even turned on SG's bedroom light to make sure I was reading it correctly. I quickly walked, with her in arm, to the kitchen. Grabbed the insulin and brought some relief to our little angel. She slept the rest of the night soundly.

This morning she woke with a blood sugar at the lowest it has been all day 201. The rest of the day we have flirted high. The doctors don't want to do anything because we will be returning to the other insulin tomorrow. So this leaves me frustrated beyond belief. Not to mention I have had to iron out other issues with SG's diabetes this week that have brought on more stress.

I just thank so much, again, my friends/family for all their support this week. Wow! You guys truly are more rocks and support. Poor Daddy feels so helpless right now because he is out of town this week, but I completely feel his prayers.

We ask that you continue to pray that this medicine would eventually take hold before tomorrow and we change AGAIN! I also ask that you pray for our congressmen and senators because with these recent issues the ideas of the recent health care plan truly do scare us as parents of a child who needs much medical attention. Plus we have very close friends whom this would effect as well.

I apologize for the length of this post but these are the true events of the week so far. Like Beth Moore said,
His word is sure,
when I am not
His heart and mine are bound.